Reflections: “Are You Undiagnosed Autistic?”

Just starting out on this journey of Autism admission and awareness. Watching videos, listening to the stories of others, and pouring myself into research, as I am so wont to do.

The latest video I’ve watched by Aspergers from the Inside, “Are You Undiagnosed Autistic? How To Tell If You’re On The Autism Spectrum,” has me reflecting on a good deal. Wanted to share a fraction of those reflections.

It is important to gauge both internal and external factors.

In retrospect, sometimes my masking was on point and other times, when I thought I was “acting normal,” I was anything but.

I have had coworkers that have tried, in very passive-aggressive, subversive ways, to get me to admit to Autism and, on different occasions, Schizophrenia. Based on my own internal happenings, I was incapable of seeing what they saw, experiencing that oh-so-familiar frustration of being ostracised for reasons I didn’t understand. “Is there something so wrong with me that people think I’m disabled and mentally ill?” I would ask myself, “Or worse, a lying, lazy, impartial asshole?”

Yes, all of humanity, at one point or another, battles with ableist thinking. Regardless of what we ourselves may be afflicted with, it is so temptingly automatic to point the finger at someone else’s weirdness.

I once had an elderly lady with no nose single me out for something about my physical appearance she didn’t like. While this is a rather innocent example of someone projecting onto someone else the prejudice that has been projected onto them—rather than using their own experience of suffering to send out compassion to break that pattern of prejudice—far worse atrocities continue to propel through society, driving a wedge into the heart of humanity where there should be, could be, mending.

“Actually, it’s always been inside; you’ve just been repressing it the whole time. So, if you are that friends and family, it’s important to recognise that the person is trusting you, with showing you a side of themselves they’ve been hiding for most of their life.”

Paul Micallef, Aspergers from the Inside

Becoming aware of our ignorance is the first step to dissolving our ignorance.

If you suspect someone might be Autistic, please don’t be like my aforementioned coworkers. Do your research and feel free to share your findings with others, but put compassion first. The person you suspect to have some condition is already feeling the world against them. That does not need to be magnified.

Just love and accept people for who they are, knowing you have no idea what their internal landscape is like. Extend compassion and understanding to everyone, and accept that all you need to know is that other people are beautiful and unique in ways you may never see. All you need to know is other people are worthy of kindness and respect.

To summon the Vulcan motto I repeat so often, “Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.”

We have reached a point in our collective consciousness where we have the capability to make this world liveable and loveable for everyone.

In the immortal words of Captain Picard, let’s “make it so.

May you Live Long and Prospurr.

Thoughts After Watching Video: “Surprise! You’re Autistic!”

This might not be in direct response to my watching the following video posted by Aspergers from the Inside earlier this year, “Surprise! You’re Autistic! Learning about Autism in adulthood with Diane J. Wright from,” but it’s where my mind went. Figured I would share.

We will come to find neurodivergence is not at all what everyone has thought it to be. Until then, contemporary jargon is quite helpful in communicating differences in perception.

Taking into consideration the multi-layered inter-dimensionality of existence and, particularly, the human experience, truth and understanding manifests in different forms, to be in appropriate context with a given dimension or facet of being.

Crazy as it may sound, some of us have had experiences that leave us considering ourselves as literal aliens and Star People, Fair Folk, or some other variety of humanoid besides specifically human. It’s not just a matter of feeling alienated from society and the human population at large… Often such thoughts come about from how we experience our individual gifts. (I think both neurotypical and neuroatypical people can understand this to a degree, or have, at one point or another, experienced this for themselves.)

And while many professionals and neurotypically wired individuals will laugh and discredit such as mental illness or childish coping mechanisms, those of us who feel this way don’t need anyone’s approval or validation. We know what we know and we don’t need to prove ourselves to anyone.

Even within the Autistic community, people are judged harshly and told they are wrong for thinking a certain way about themselves and their own life experience, perceptions, and mental and sensory downloads.

The ever-evolving language of neurodivergent studies can be a powerful tool in helping to bridge the gaps of misunderstanding, in that it stays grounded in diversely acceptable dimensions, thus having the capability of bringing awareness and appreciation to the vast diversity of life and experience in this realm and beyond.

It is preparing us for the Infinite Diversity, Infinite Combinations (IDIC) of the cosmos, because, well… it‘s about damn time.

In short, you may not feel you are of this world, but choosing to be in this world will help make this world better.

That’s what I’ve gotta tell myself, anyway.