As 2021 comes to a close, I have been reflecting quite a bit on how consistently burnt out I’ve been this whole year. I think a lot of people can relate when I say I’ve come to some hard realisations regarding just how thin I have continued to spread myself. It is easier than one might suspect to ignore the warning signs and keep pushing past one’s breaking point.
To be frank, there’s a helluvalotta bull-fucking-shit going around and the gift of it has been learning what to turn away from and when, what boundaries to set and why, and what actually deserves focus and attention.
In preparation for a new calendar year, I am making efforts to be kinder and more compassionate to myself. I have simplified my site in removing my Yoga and Tarot pages. I am still teaching, still doing readings, but I don’t need the clutter, unnecessary responsibility, and constant reminder of social incongruence that those pages became for me.
I am highly dissatisfied with my current web host and will be transferring my domain to a new service when my current plan expires in January. That being said, most of the changes I’ve made to my site have been a means of tidying my own headspace so I can be mentally and creatively focused enough to manifest the changes I wish to see in my life. I just have to be real with myself about who and where I am right now.
I need to pull back. My primary efforts are now being dedicated to my art. Art has been that one safe space for me my whole life. It is as natural to me as breathing, yet life (until recently) has demanded I sacrifice myself time and time again for others.
Thank my fucking stars that’s not the case anymore.
In ways I won’t get into here, I have been liberated. Now it’s my turn. As Mikey says in The Goonies, “Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here.”
I’m closer than Chester Copperpot to One-Eyed Willy’s Rich Stuff and I’m not gonna let Troy or the Fratelli’s rob me of this great adventure. I gotta free that fucking pirate ship, because that’s what a ship is—freedom. (Cookie for you, if you recognise that last reference. Hint: It’s not Goonies.)
I am captain of this vessel and I will fight for her as much as any great Starfleet captain.
I digress. It is easy for me to get distracted with my interior dialogue and wax poetically in self-motivational talk interspersed with pop culture metaphor. What was I saying?
Yes. Art. Art will take me to The Mountain.
And maybe Star Trek. Art and Star Trek.
And so I will.
May you have Peace & Long Life.
Until we meet again.